


Love The One You're With

by EzraTheBlue



Category: Saiyuki
Genre: 393 Mention, Comfort Sex, Even A Worm Arc, M/M, Okay maybe a little plot, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Post-ST/You!Kai Fight, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-23
Updated: 2017-11-23
Packaged: 2019-02-05 19:58:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12801237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EzraTheBlue/pseuds/EzraTheBlue
Summary: Set during the Even a Worm Arc. Goku is feeling low and lonely after Sanzo separates himself from the party. When his attempts at self-consolation gets Gojyo and Hakkai's attention, they decide to help him feel a little less lonely...Happy birthday to illegalitygirl!





	Love The One You're With

**Author's Note:**

  * For [illegalitygirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/illegalitygirl/gifts).



> The title and inspiration were rather shamelessly ripped from a Stephen Stills song, though I believe it is best known as a Crosby, Stills, and Nash song, "Love The One You're With."
> 
> I also really wanted to subvert the favored 358 threesome where Goku is left out. Now Sanzo gets to be left out!
> 
> In what is becoming a tradition of writing smut for Chanda as a birthday present: enjoy, my friend!

**Love The One You're With**

The walls were too thin. Ever since they'd gotten split from Sanzo, all the walls of the inns they'd been at were too damn thin. Goku could hear every rotten noise from next door. Hakkai's soft, coaxing voice, Gojyo's moans and faint mumbles, and the creak of the bed, they all echoed in his ears, and each thump of the headboard on the wall just drove it home.

You're a _lone_. You're a _lone_. You're a _lone-one-one-oh godddd Hakkaaaaaaiii_

Goku grimaced, flopped back onto his bed, and smashed the pancake-flat and not-even-close-to-pancake-soft pillow over his face, hoping he could groan into it without being heard. Thing was, he got it. He knew the road had been rough, they'd been scrounging for funds everywhere they went, they'd taken day labor jobs and worked their fingers to the bone just to have enough to pay for a meal every night. Worse, he was worried about Sanzo, and so was Hakkai, and even if Gojyo didn't admit it, he was worried too. Sanzo was alone out there. Just like he was alone here.

Sanzo was human, so vulnerable. He wasn't extra-durable, not rechargeable. He was probably just as aware of that fact as anyone, and he probably felt his weakness like a lump under his bedroll, digging into his back until it ached through his chest. Goku hated that feeling too, especially because he was getting too familiar with it, and not just because of the cheap inn beds. He could barely remember the attack that had knocked him down, let alone the apparently epic throwdown he'd had with Hakkai that Gojyo had recounted. All he knew was that he almost didn't get up the first time, and Hakkai nearly hadn't when Goku had finished with him.

Gojyo had tried to laugh when he recalled it: “It sounds dumb, right? But we figured we'd let your super-powered psycho side heal up, and then I guess just politely ask you to put the crown back on! That didn't, haha, that... didn't work.” He hadn't been so successful at faking it when he got to the end of the fight: “I mean, you were down, and he was down, but you just looked like you were sleeping, and Hakkai... he... he wasn't getting up.” Gojyo had looked a little devastated, but he was trying to force a smile. “So me, useless idiot I am, I start doing mouth-to-mouth and CPR best I know how, like I fucking know what I'm doing because holy shit, it's Hakkai and he's... he just... he wasn't waking up.” Gojyo's fake smile was drooping. “Until he did. And he just... smiles at me...” Gojyo, slouching, had swallowed hard, barely able to mumble the rest. “And that's when I carried the two of you off, 'cause I couldn't let you sleep in the street, you know?”

Goku had almost died. Then, he almost killed his friend, because he couldn't control part of himself. Then, Sanzo had come back just long enough to see if he was alive ... and walked away.

“Because I'm weak,” Goku couldn't help but think. “Because I was too weak.”

Either Sanzo saw him as being too weak, or this was a machination from the gods to punish him. Either way, he was _alone alone alone_ because he was _weak_.

Listening to Gojyo and Hakkai through the wall made him feel alone, but he couldn't begrudge it of them. Gojyo had nearly watched Hakkai slip through his fingers, and it seemed all he wanted to do was hold on to him as tight as he could. Gojyo was happy to send Goku to his own room, boasting about how lucky he was to get to sleep alone, but Goku knew Gojyo just wanted to be alone with Hakkai. They were alone together. Goku was just _alone alone alone_ , and he would give anything to be alone with Sanzo.

He swore under his breath and groped down for the join of his legs, rubbing the half-erection growing at the echo of Gojyo's pleasure through his denims. How many times had he fantasized about being “alone with Sanzo?” He couldn't count that high, not on his fingers and toes or the fingers and toes of literally everyone he had ever known. It seemed like all he'd ever wanted was Sanzo's attention, from a smack with the fan to a moment of quiet conversation, and every time Sanzo noticed him made his heart swell. He wasn't sure if what he had for Sanzo was love, but for as strong as it was, the way it made his chest burn, the way Goku craved Sanzo's attention, it had to be something close to it. Even then, Goku wasn't sure if this was the right kind of love, because it made him want more than just Sanzo's love and attention in return. It made him want Sanzo to want him. To want to have him, to possess him, and even though Goku had no idea what he'd do with him once Sanzo agreed to take him, his dick had lots and lots of ideas. He knew Sanzo would have to see him as worthy of that, though, and Sanzo didn't see a lot of things as being worthy of keeping like that. He had a lot to prove.

And he'd only proven weak.

He moaned as he grabbed at his aching dick again, as his imagination summoned an image of what Hakkai and Gojyo were surely doing and then tried to plug Sanzo and him in their places. He had needs, this wouldn't be the first time he'd played pretend. Would Sanzo lay him flat on the bed and push his knees up to his shoulders, or sit on his chest and let Goku take him into his mouth? He licked his lips at the very thought, back arching into his own fumbling touch. Maybe he could touch Sanzo the way he touched himself, draw his cock from his fly and wrap his hand around it and pull it, feeling Sanzo's pulse through his thin, satiny skin and making Sanzo pant in his ear. Maybe in the shower, the both of them dripping wet and Sanzo smelling of soap and tasting like toothpaste, or maybe in an inn room like this one that smelled like Sanzo's cigarettes and booze sweat and musk. Goku wouldn't care if he was on his hands and knees on the dusty, rocky road next to the Jeep if it meant Sanzo wanted him, if Sanzo would let him just make him happy.

But Sanzo was gone and he was alone.

He worked himself harder, as if he were wrestling his libido the same as he now had to grapple with the reality that Sanzo had left him. That Sanzo would never touch him like this, that pretending was the closest he would come. “Sanzo,” he gasped, stroking his thumb up the vein of his dick as it strained in his hand – so close, so close. What would Sanzo think of him like this? Would he see Goku as desirable, or pitiful, for wanting Sanzo so much _because Gods, he wanted him so much_. “Sanzo,” he choked, wishing Sanzo were the one making him moan, bringing him to the edge of pleasure – _then clamping down, “I'm not done with you yet,”_ – and Goku cried out as his pleasure was stricken with pain, need aching through him as he denied his own orgasm. Sanzo would want him to last longer. “Oh, _Sanzo_ , yes...”

Gojyo moaned through the wall, a drabble of noises mixed with _yes_ and _please_ , and Goku wanted to feel that, feel that good, he wanted Sanzo to make him feel that good! “SANZO!”

There was suddenly silence through the wall. Goku stopped stroking all at once when he realized he couldn't hear Hakkai and Gojyo's bed rocking anymore. They'd heard him that time.

Embarrassment was a pretty epic boner-killer, and Goku let go of his cock as it wilted in humiliation, then yanked his fly back up as it died soft against his thigh. Goku suddenly didn't want to jerk off. He just kind of wanted to die just so he wouldn't have to hear Gojyo mock him for crying out for his master, or Hakkai telling him his feelings were healthy and normal like he was some dumb kid. Goku didn't even know what his feelings were any more, too jumbled up with the grief of knowing Sanzo abandoned him and the ache that came with trying to survive without him.

He wasn't ready to deal with this. Trying to think it through just made his head and heart ache, and thinking about it through the dull throb of lust that still reverberated in his guts was unimaginable. He tried to close his eyes, hoping sleep might come and swallow everything complicated so he could try and make it through tomorrow.

He didn't even get halfway there before he heard the crackle-click of someone picking the lock, heard the door to his little room creak open, then two sets of near-in-sync footsteps, and he felt an impact land beside his head. Long, knobby fingers carded into his hair, and Goku knew Gojyo was resting his palm against his scalp. "Yo, monkey."

"Go away." Goku grabbed his pillow from under his head and smashed it into his own face, knocking Gojyo's hand away. He didn't want to be around Gojyo, not when he still reeked of sex and sweat. Gojyo scoffed, but somewhere behind him, Hakkai sighed.

"I'd rather not leave you alone when it's clear we have to talk about something with you." The other side of Goku's bed settled, as Hakkai sat down with his hips in line with Gojyo's shoulder. "We've been leaving you out, and we both wanted to apologize."

Goku dared lift the pillow from his face, to see the two of them, sitting on either side of him, Hakkai with a dulcet smile, Gojyo with his usual cocksure smirk. "Jeez, ya damn chimp, we're just trying to cheer you up." He put his hand behind Goku's back, encouraging him to sit up. "Look, it's okay to miss Sanzo."

"I can only speak for myself," Hakkai added, "but even though my feelings towards him are complicated, I would rather he were with us too."

Goku's face heated as sure as if Hakkai had shone a light on him. "Aw, come on--"

"We both figured you were sleeping with him." Gojyo gave Goku a slap on the back. "And we both kinda figured you knew about us. So, we get ya being jealous."

"I wasn't sleeping with him!" Goku groaned and threw the pillow over his own face again, but couldn't keep from adding through it, "I wish I was. I was tryin' to prove to him I was worth it, and I couldn't. I almost died in front of him, and you know him. He doesn't want anything he has to worry about losing."

"Oh." Hakkai sounded genuinely surprised, and Gojyo scoffed with utter disgust.

"He say that to you?"

"No," Goku mumbled, "but I know it's how he feels."

“You don't--” Hakkai started, but Gojyo tapped Hakkai's back and shook his head.

“If that's true, then he's missing out.” Gojyo jostled him with an elbow, then tugged the shoulder seam on his shirt. "C'mon, sit up and look at me." Goku grumbled, but Gojyo pulled him up by the arm, then held his wrist tight. "Do you think you're weak?"

"S--"

"I don't give a shit what he thinks. Fuck him, he ain't here." Gojyo rubbed his thumb over the pulse point on Goku's wrist. "You're ten times tougher than the rest of us put together. And newsflash, just how strong you are got nothin' to do with how awesome you are." Gojyo pulled him close. “You're fine the way you are.”

Goku realized how close Gojyo was, how hard his heart was pounding, how much he'd needed to hear that. He felt Hakkai's hand, thin but warm on his back. “We're with you, no matter what.”

“You guys?” Goku's voice was a squeak. Gojyo smirked easily, leaning in towards him, then pressing his forehead against Goku's.

“You don't gotta be alone. Those feelings you got, you don't gotta keep 'em to yourself.”

“We're here with you,” Hakkai repeated, and Goku realized they were both holding him, in their ways, until Hakkai brushed his lips against Goku's ear. “Were you feeling left out?”

That sentiment made Goku's belly wobble in his chest, made his heart flutter, because Hakkai's voice, warm and low, was almost like what he imagined Sanzo could sound like if Sanzo wanted to be tender with him. “A little, yeah,” he whispered, but he sounded rough, even to himself, either on the verge of tears or toppling over another cliff entirely. Hakkai's lips touched Goku's ear again.

“We can include you.” He ran his hand down Goku's back. “Our love can be big enough for you.”

“You don't gotta love us back,” Gojyo added, running his fingers through Goku's hair. “But if you wanna feel wanted, then kid, we can want you. Even better, I can make you need me.” He grinned against Goku's jaw, ignoring Hakkai's soft chuckle of 'show-off,' and that wobbly feeling got stronger, throbbing in his very core. Hakkai kissed his cheek, Gojyo's hips rocked against his leg, and something in him broke.

“You mean it? All of us – together?”

Without even speaking, Hakkai and Gojyo had maneuvered around him, Gojyo easing Goku against Hakkai's legs, all but in his lap, and backed up on hands and knees to face him. He cocked his head and grinned. “I'm a little spent for now, but that don't mean I'm useless. Hakkai, give him some attention.”

“Gladly.” Hakkai's voice was an easy purr, as sedate and even as it ever was, and his cool fingers trailed down Goku's chest as he parted the buttons on his undershirt, then slid it down his shoulders. His fingertips traced Goku's nipples in tiny circles until they raised to nubs, but Goku was watching Gojyo as he popped the button on his pants and worked his jeans and boxers down to his knees. Goku squirmed a little under Hakkai's light touches, heart racing as he kept up teasing his left nipple but using his right hand to gently rake down Goku's ribs, just enough to raise gooseflesh across his whole chest. His dick was starting to wake up again, especially when Gojyo, on hands and knees, lowered his face down until he was eye level with it. His tongue, pink and limber, flicked out to taste, and Goku inhaled sharply. He'd never even imagined Sanzo doing that, but seeing Gojyo, who Goku could admit was actually pretty damn sexy when he wanted to be, there, right there, on the verge of taking him in, was a thrill beyond imagining. Hakkai's chin touched Goku's shoulder as Gojyo licked at his dickhead a few times.

“He's good at it, I promise.” Goku could tell Hakkai was watching Gojyo intently, even as he continued to lavish attention on Goku's chest, Goku's back, even trailing his fingers down to tease the base of Goku's cock. “Do you want Gojyo to taste you?”

Goku's mouth watered at the thought. “Is it okay?”

“Go on, Gojyo.” Hakkai smiled down at Gojyo, and Gojyo tilted a sultry smirk towards the pair of them.

“I've been curious what you might taste like: sweet, or salty.” He licked his lips, then closed his mouth around Goku's half-erection and gave it a tender suck. Goku felt the thrill of it run through him like an electric shock, and he locked up as Gojyo moaned into his dick. Hakkai seemed to be bracing him now, though still running his hands in caress over his body.

“He's talented, I promise.” Then, Hakkai chuckled softly into his ear, sending chills down his spine. “Gojyo, does he taste good?”

Gojyo let Goku's dick fall from his mouth for a moment. “It's good, babe. You want a taste?” He crawled up Goku's chest and leaned over his shoulder, lips swollen and red already and just parted, and Hakkai leaned in to accept his kiss. Goku was pressed between them, part of their embrace, even when Gojyo broke from kissing Hakkai, then tilted his forehead against Goku's and swiped a quick peck across his mouth, then smirked into his cheek. “You wanna kiss too?”

Goku nodded, and Gojyo claimed his mouth, first gently sucking and nibbling at his lower lip, then swiping his tongue against Goku's. Goku could taste cigarettes (no surprise), but the heat he felt and that touch of salt and savory on his tongue rolled through him like an electric shock. He broke away, realizing only then how short he was for breath and that Hakkai had been peppering the back of his neck with soft kisses and nibbling across his ear like he was a sugar candy that he didn't want to break just yet. He licked his lips, tasting salt and that savory flavor that made his mouth water again, but looked to Gojyo. “That's what I taste like?”

“Mm, but that had Hakkai in there too.” Gojyo grinned wildly. “He's sweet. Maybe you'll find out one of these days, yeah?” He pressed one last hard kiss to Goku's lips, then nodded to Hakkai. “You wanna, you know...”

“I will. Why don't you return to where you were a moment ago?” Hakkai slid a hand up Goku's belly and chest again, subtly pulling Goku back into his breast. Goku could feel his heart racing despite the placidity of his voice. Hakkai winked at Gojyo. “Wouldn't you rather have another taste of him?”

“Damn right.” Gojyo swiped his hair back from his eyes and got back down on his haunches, and Goku's dick throbbed hard as he stretched out across the bed and lowered his mouth around him again. He sucked him down to the root, but just as he hit bottom, Hakkai slipped a finger into his asshole. Goku sucked in breath, and Hakkai shushed into his ear.

“Is this alright? Do you mind if I take you from behind?”

Goku couldn't do more than gasp, and Hakkai withdrew his hand and eased Goku to lean back towards him so that they could look at one another face to face. “I'd be your first, wouldn't I?”

Gojyo paused in sucking Goku off to grin up at Hakkai. “Nah, that's me. I'd say I'm popping his freshness seal.”

Goku flushed and hurriedly shook his head. “No.” Hakkai gasped, and Gojyo raised an eyebrow. Goku bit his lip, and admitted, “The waitresses and waiters we meet... I'm nice to 'em, so they're nice to me.”

“Nameless faces and bodies,” Hakkai whispered, giving Gojyo a meaningful look. He kissed Goku again. “It's so much more special when it's someone you trust. Do you trust me, Goku?”

“Yeah.” Goku grinned cheekily. “You just surprised me, and it's kinda been a while, you know?”

“If ever we do something you don't like, then tell me.” Hakkai slid his hand down Goku's side again, tracing the hollow in his hip. “May I?”

Goku's face went hot at the lust gleaming in Hakkai's eyes. His smile felt deep and solid, and Goku couldn't help but wonder if this was how Gojyo felt whenever Hakkai gave him that real, special smile, all bubbly inside. “Yeah, I'd like that.”

Gojyo got back to sucking Goku's dick, but Hakkai kissed him deep and swallowed his moan. Hakkai's finger crept into his entrance again, slow and easy, and he pumped it in and out in time with his kisses, pressing deep every time his tongue thrust against the roof of Goku's mouth. Goku lost himself in sensation, Gojyo's attention as he worshiped the crown of his dick with his tongue, Hakkai's deep kisses and the sparks that raced through him as he stretched his entrance out. Gojyo's passion wasn't surprising in the slightest, Goku should have known he'd be a good lover to anyone he took to bed – he had plenty of practice and all! – but Hakkai was the surprise. Maybe it shouldn't have been so strange that Hakkai hid his passion so well, he was good at keeping things under the surface. Goku wondered how many lovers he'd had, but he got a feeling the number was low, and he just showed this side of himself in all of its brilliant colors just to those he really cared about.

Goku saw a spark of white light when Hakkai slid a second finger into him, but then he crooked his middle finger and pressed into Goku's inner walls. Everything in him flashed like it had gone supernova, like superheated glass touched by ice, and he felt he was breaking apart and exploding and the world was spinning around him. _God,_ Hakkai was good at what he did! Goku writhed, not knowing what else to do with his body, but Hakkai's grip on his arms and Gojyo's pin on his legs were firm. Gojyo chuckled into the join of his legs, the sound vibrating down Goku's already hyperactive nerves, and Hakkai tsked softly into his ear, not ceasing his attention but murmuring, “Your previous lovers haven't paid such special attention to you, I see.” Hakkai's fingers brushed against his sweet spot again, and Goku moaned aloud. “What a shame, what a waste. You're a sight to behold when you're this needy.”

Goku could only imagine he meant 'sweating like a wild animal' and panting and heaving, muscles taut and body at pinprick sensitivity. He felt like he might really break if things got any more intense, except Hakkai was still going, slow and steady but building up steam. His legs trembled under him, under Gojyo's hands, and the tattoo of his heart felt like a bottle of shaken soda jumping in his chest. Then, Hakkai stopped, and Gojyo sucked him down to the root and held him there (Goku could swear his dick was down his throat and in Gojyo's chest and right against his steady heart), and Hakkai whispered in his ear again, “I'd like to take you. Are you ready?”

“Y-yeah.” Goku surprised himself at the desperation and need winding through his voice. “I want that. Please.”

Gojyo said something again, the noise echoing up Goku's spine, and Hakkai chuckled. “Not with your mouth full. And do keep your mouth full.” He ran his thumb down the line of Goku's back, shifting position to line up behind him. “Goku, I'm going to count down from three. When I reach zero, inhale and hold it tight.”

Goku felt the head of Hakkai's dick bump against his taint, and realized just how thick it was. Hakkai stroked Goku's hip a few times, and Gojyo's grip on his thighs tightened like clasps. Goku realized he could throw them off and get loose, that they were restraining him. He could show them how strong he was, but from the way they were holding him, they both already knew exactly how much he could take and God, did he want it. He wanted Gojyo taking him deep like he would love nothing more than Goku's spunk down his throat. He wanted Hakkai holding him tight, whispering in his ear:

“Three, two...”

Goku sucked in air, and Hakkai pushed into him in one thrust. Goku cried out, mind flashing through his scant memories of Hakkai trying to shred his throat out, of him pinning Hakkai down and trying to rip him to shreds, of Gojyo picking his broken body up. Then, as Hakkai thrust into him again, arms wrapped around his chest, his fantasies overwhelmed that, his own desire for Sanzo to be there, doing this with him, fucking him, taking him, claiming him. Hakkai's soft grunts sounded too much like he'd imagined Sanzo might, and it all eclipsed. For a second, the emotion burned hot behind his eyes, until Hakkai threaded a hand into his hair.

“I'm here with you.” He thrust again, wringing a soft cry out of Goku. “We're in this together.” Gojyo ran his tongue the entire length of Goku's shaft, then speared into his slit. Goku writhed again, gasping, and Gojyo sucked Goku all the way down again as Hakkai started a firm, steady rhythm of rocking little thrusts. Hakkai was steady and sure, and it grounded Goku as sure as Gojyo's hands holding him in place. The heat built up in him with each flick of Gojyo's tongue and each sloppy swallow, stoked by each sure thrust of Hakkai's hips. It was too much, so much, so wonderful, that Goku could only screw his eyes shut and ride out the ecstasy.

Fireworks, white heat, and stars burst behind Goku's eyelids, and somewhere in that rush, he forgot that Sanzo wasn't here. Under him, Gojyo was swallowing, hugging him tight around the waist, Hakkai was still fucking into him with a steady rhythm and gripping him in place, until the heat in Goku's belly became unbearable and Hakkai gasped into his shoulder. He ground to a gradual stop, still rooted in Goku, but his grip subtly shifted into an embrace.

“Right here with you,” he murmured, as Gojyo released Goku from his mouth and licked a stripe up Goku's belly.

“You done alright, monkey.” Gojyo sat up just as Hakkai eased out of Goku, then patted his softening dick. Goku shivered at the rush, oversensitive nerves shivering all the way through him, and he slumped against Hakkai, feeling small and a little exposed, like he'd had a layer of skin burned off. Hakkai released him, and he fell into Gojyo's chest, just in time for Gojyo to catch him and ease him down onto the mattress again. Goku tried to twist away, but Gojyo held him, and Hakkai soon spooned up behind him.

“It's alright if you're feeling a bit exposed right now; sometimes, things get overwhelming.”

More than exposed, more than overwhelmed. Goku felt like he was the sort of naked he'd never been before, but when Gojyo gathered him up into his arms and tucked his head under his chin, when Hakkai curled up behind him, he felt safe and secure. Wanted. Strong.

“Mm,” was the only way he could express it, until Hakkai stroked his hair a few times, helping his thoughts collect around the grounding sensation of intimate touch. “Thanks for everything, guys. I... I still miss Sanzo, but I feel okay with you guys here.”

“Hey, man,” Gojyo muttered, his voice oozing sex and warmth, and he rubbed his forehead against Goku's. “That's what we're here for.”

Hakkai ran a hand down his side to his hip, spooning up close to him as he added, “We're traveling companions. We're on this road together, all together.”

“All together,” Goku agreed wearily, contently. Not alone. Not separated, not broken up. Not even a thin wall to keep them apart, let alone however many, many miles separated them from Sanzo.

That didn't matter. The thin walls, not important, nor how hard the pillow or the road had been. They were with him, and even if it wasn't love, he had whatever they were willing to offer. He also got the idea, from the way Gojyo was teasing at him, from the way Hakkai was still rocking a little against his hips, they were willing to offer a lot, and that would be good for now.

They were together, and his heart was at ease.

 


End file.
